I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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