It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
