Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I supernannyed him into submission
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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