She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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