I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
