I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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