You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
