Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
