some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
