I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
only if we run a train.
done.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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