my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
