is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
