i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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