His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
