My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
