tell your sister to shave her snatch
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
