I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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