3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
