get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
