he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
