What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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