Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
