Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
