"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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