Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
