try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
