There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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