worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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