; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
