Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
