I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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