his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
