so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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