You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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