Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
