I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
