This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
