you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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