I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
only you would photoshop your dick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
