I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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