wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize