I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
my liver is dry heaving
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize