tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
