That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Randomize
