Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
