his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
