We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
