you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
