I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
