She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
